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Sharing Parents

Sunrise With Everett

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By Kurt Seckington This past June, I sat on a granite ledge fifteen feet above the crystal clear water of Ralston Lake, in the Sierra Nevada’s Desolation Wilderness, watching a driftwood “E” float lazily across the lake’s surface. In our family we have a tradition of celebrating our second son, Everett, who was stillborn at 38 weeks on May 22, 2012, by creating “E”s when we are out in the wilderness. We have drawn “E”s in the sand on deserted, windswept beaches, written “E”s with water on warm granite cobbles, and, like this day in the Sierra, placed 4 sticks…

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A Grieving Mother’s Manifesto

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By Dr. Joanne Cacciatore I am a mother. I am a bereaved mother. My child died, and this is my reluctant path. It is not a path of my choice, but it is a path I must walk mindfully and with intention. It is a journey through the darkest night of my soul and it will take time to wind through the places that scare me. Every cell in my body aches and longs to be with my beloved child. On days when grief is loud, I may be impatient, distracted, frustrated, and unfocused. I may get angry more easily,…

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Being the Mother of a Child Who Died — On Mother’s Day

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By Claire McCarthy, M.D. I am the mother of a child who died. And that makes Mother’s Day very hard. Recently I was talking to a mother whose child had just died. “What about Mother’s Day?” she asked, through tears. It was hard to know what to say, because it’s a terrible day for those of us who have lost a child. Other days of the year you can maybe make it a few hours without thinking about your loss; other days of the year you can pretend that you are an ordinary person and that life is normal. But…

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Stifled Grief: How the West Has It Wrong

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By Michelle E. Steinke After nearly seven years of personal experience surrounding loss, I can tell who is going to read, share and comment on this article and it’s not necessarily the audience I’ve intended. Those who have walked the horrific road of loss will shake their collective heads “Yes” at many of my points below and share with pleads for the rest of the Western World to read, learn, evolve and embrace these concepts. Unfortunately, my words will fall short for my intended audience because the premise does not yet apply to their lives…yet. In time, my words will…

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