This post is part of a new “Meet our Volunteers” series where we introduce you to a Sharing Parents volunteer, his or her story and baby(ies), and what they appreciate about volunteering.
Name: Amy
Baby’s Name: Katherine Lynn, aka “Katie-bug”
Date of Birth: March 22, 2013
Volunteer Role: President
My daughter, Katherine Lynn, died at almost 24 weeks on March 22, 2013. She was our second daughter and we’d hoped she would complete our little family.
We found out at our 20 week ultrasound that something wasn’t right and were asked to return two weeks later for another ultrasound. We were given few answers and little hope – something was wrong, nobody knew what it was, and our only option was to see another specialist in hopes her condition could be diagnosed.
It was weeks of waiting and hoping and testing and more waiting. We saw specialist after specialist only to have hope slip through our fingers each time. Finally, we were told our precious daughter had a terminal heart condition. Kate would not come home and be the sister to our first daughter that we had wanted to much. Our hearts were shattered.
On March 22, 2013, she arrived. I delivered her, and my husband and I are so grateful for the opportunity to have met our precious baby girl, even if it was only for a few hours. At almost 24 weeks, she was so tiny… and perfect. I still have those 24 hours etched in my head, crystal clear. She was wrapped in a little pink blanket someone hand-made and placed in my arms so we could say hello – and goodbye.
When it was time, I was wheeled out of the hospital in a wheelchair with a memory box on my lap and no baby in my arms. I’ll never forget looking down as the nurse wheeled me out so that I wouldn’t accidentally make eye contact with anyone in the hallway or waiting room and have to acknowledge to another living person that I was a mother without my baby. I could hardly acknowledge that fact to myself, let alone a stranger. We went home without her to grieve our broken hearts. (A ladybug rode on my car window the whole way home… ask me about that part of my story sometime.)
In the weeks after Kate died, my husband and I found Sharing Parents and went to our first meeting. I was scared to verbalize my feelings to strangers but we had to do something or we were going to implode. Sharing Parents turned out to be our saving grace. Sharing Parents allowed us to tell our story to other families who knew what we were feeling before they even heard our words. It was healing, both individually and as a couple.
Four years after Kate died, we went on to have another baby. Our subsequent pregnancy was surprisingly joyful and we were blessed with a beautiful, perfect, healthy baby boy in September 2017. We have three children, including Kate, and she’s very much a part of our family even though she’s not physically here with us.
Kate and Sharing Parents taught me so much about myself, the person I was, and the person I wanted to be as I moved through my grief. I am eternally grateful to them both.
I’ve been volunteering with Sharing Parents for four years and am serving as the President in 2019. My husband Tom also volunteers. This organization means the world to us — it is a lifeline to parents who can’t imagine life without their babies — and I am honored to serve and support our parents.
Volunteering has allowed us a place to always be Kate’s parents. It has connected me with people who know my story and cherish it as I do. They understand how Kate’s presence, however short, made me the person I am today even though they never met her or even knew she existed except for my story and how she’s touched my heart. Volunteering also helps ensure that Sharing Parents continues to have the means to support other parents who follow us. Without our volunteers, we cannot let parents know we exist, or hold meetings, or staff the listening line. Everyday I am grateful for what Sharing Parents has contributed to my life as a grieving parent and as a friend, and I am grateful for the opportunity to give back to the parents who follow me. [/vc_column_text]
